“Lack of institutional control”. That’s it! That is the answer to all the problems with youth sports. Let’s give penalties to youth sports teams and organizations for breaking the rules.
“Lack of institutional control”. This is the heading that the NCAA slaps on many university violations when they can’t clearly name the infraction but know that something is definitely wrong.
Earlier this year, the University of Nebraska was placed on a two-year probation period by the NCAA for improperly distributed textbooks. (This also included a self imposed $38,000 fine to be paid by the university to charitable organizations.)
In 2009 the University of Alabama was hit with a three-year probation for a 2007 textbook violation. (I didn’t know that textbooks were such a big commodity for these athletes.)
The University of Minnesota was put on probation in 2000 for an academic fraud scandal.
Recently, the NCAA came down hard on Penn State.
Included in these probations are various penalties which include loss of scholarships to offer recruits, financial penalties, vacating wins that had occurred in the previous years, no post season playoff appearances, firing of coaches and school administrators, prohibiting players/coaches from games for a specified amount of time, limiting recruiting activity …etc, the list goes on …
So, I was thinking; wouldn’t it be great if there were an “NCAA” like, governing body overseeing youth sports and its rules, coaching ethics and parental behavior? And sometimes when you just can’t put a finger on what is exactly wrong, you can always pull out the “Lack of institutional control” card.
For the out of control and overly excited coach, here are a few penalties that could be slapped on them personally or on their team:
*One full year of “non fancy uniforms”. Old white t-shirts with numbers written with permanent markers with non-matching shorts are what can be worn. Needless to say, there will be no “accessorizing”, so color coordinated wristbands, headbands and of course the ever-popular arm sleeves are prohibited.
*One full year of being a referee. So, this means no coaching and no sitting in the stands. When you come to the game, you will be wearing the stripes, polished black shoes, and a fox 40(whistle) stuffed in your mouth.
*One full year of post game cleaning. This includes but is not limited to toilets, water splashes on the mirrors, washing sinks and floors of bloody noses and throw up, picking up candy wrappers, half empty water bottles, wiping down bleachers of spilled coke and “smashed” sticky candy, and making those never ending calls to find the owner of left behind basketballs, jackets, toys, cell phones…etc
* One full year of coaching the worst team in the league. Yes, having to experience a 0 and 8 losing season several times in that year.
* One full year of working in the snack bar and working at the scorer’s table.
* Lifetime of learning how to give all the kids equal playing time, even if it means losing a few games along the way.
* Financial fine that includes paying the club fees and league fees for a needy kid (who happens to be a really good player) from your arch rival team.
* Once reinstated to coaching on the bench, or sitting in the stands, only praise and affirmation can be expressed to the referees. One negative word or outburst results in another full year from coaching and requirement of being an official again. (This also includes the janitorial, snack bar, and scorer’s table penalties as well)
* Registering at the local community college in a class on parenting and coaching 101. Class entitled: “Youth sports for the benefit of the children”.
* Fancy gym bags with the team name and logo and warm up jerseys with last names printed in big bold letters are prohibited for one full year.
* One full year requirement of having, and creating “fun”!
If any of these requirements seem to be violated but you can’t quite put a finger on the exact reason other than a “sense of bad atmosphere”, the “Lack of institutional control rule can be applied at any time!
If you have any comments or questions, email: email@example.com